The whole sex thing
Posted in Fashion & Style, Morning Dew | By admin | On 28-06-2008
How do you respond to two 19 year-olds who tell you point blank, “We want answers to “the whole sex thing?” How do we know if he’s the ONE or if he is just interested in the sex thing! We need to know what goes on in relationships: why are guys so afraid to commit? How realistic is it to ask us to remain virgins until we get married? For heaven’s sake! This is the 21st century. Heart breaks are real and there’s a whole lot of pressure from guys who claim love equals sex and sex equals love! How do we survive in that jungle?
Hmm… In my day 19 year-olds didn’t ask such questions! They were supposed to see “no evil and speak no evil”. Then again, in my day there was a whole lot of hush hypocrisy, and the fact that we didn’t ask questions or talk about it didn’t mean we were saints! I knew there were issues with relationships as men and women continue to trade blames but didn’t realise it was this BIG until these students hit me with it!
It was expected that a woman like me would have an answer. Now mums, it is time we started talking to our children, and this generation does not want this sex thing coated in some gibberish or hieroglyphics (please no birds and bees stories). If they are old enough to ask, then they are old enough to know the truth before someone else gives them lessons in practical Biology 101. We need to be talking to our kids about the whole sex thing. Now to the questions posed by my teen friends, I am not an expert in relationships even though I have been in one for 25 years, but one thing I realise is that guys tend to want to have their cake and eat it! They want to sleep with every girl around and still expect to marry a virgin. One advice my friend gave her daughter on the issue of this sex thing without belabouring the fact that virginity may be old school but still very desirable is this; “how would you feel if after sleeping with a guy much against every wise counsel and he dumped you? Wouldn’t you rather preserve yourself for someone who will treasure you because of your moral values?” …
Your blog is interesting!
Keep up the good work!
Where can i get funmis hair to buy please. thanks
Your blog is really interesting….. I have also wondered how a girl of 15 2 19 would be so into the sex thing and no matter what is being said their interest keeps growing.
We really have to put in more time to educate our young and pay attention to their needs cos those age are the times when a young girl is confused about a lot of things and most especially sex.
Keep on doing what you can do.
Please i dont really know what to do.But i like the work you are doing keep it up
Rightly said, 19yr olds do ask. I have no idea what went on in the days of my folks, but it’s obvious its nothing compared to the sex literacy of present days. I guess after DSTv and internet (somethings my folks never dreamt of when they were 19), you can’t quite say you’re surprised.
But the question is ‘what to say to the inquisitive 19 yr olds?’, right?
Lets start by saying that I don’t have a 19 yr old for a daughter. Also know that I’m masculine!
But looking back at my days of when I did seek clarification from my parents, I would have appreciated the truth but in soft manner. No need for graphic details, E! has given me more than they can. Contraceptives would have also been a good topic after dinner, it would shock you how many teenagers think they don’t have a choice of getting pregnant after sex.
Ah! Yes! The ‘S’ word, sex. It’s not a sin to say it. Let folks know. Whats the use anyway, 19 yr olds would probably know more on the ‘S’ act, manuevering positions, creating sweetest responses - they know! Believe me!
Well. I’m not 19, I’m 17, and the ‘whole sex thing’ is already a very big issue for me. I think maybe I’m a little more adventurous than the average girl my age, but still…my mum told me when I was little, ‘never let a guy put his hand up your skirt.’ I think that was the first and last sex-related talk we ever had. But what about down my shirt? or in my trousers? how far is too far? what’s wrong with it if I really love him? And I know how to use protection, so I won’t get pregnant. So why not?!
I wish I were able to talk, really talk with her about this…but to her it is an absolute thing…stay a virgin till you’re married! So that’s what I’ve been doing…doing everything but have intercourse. Afterall, I’m still a virgin, right?