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Well, here we are in the year 2004. I thank God that you and I made it – in spite of all the odds against us last year. Sure I still have unresolved issues with God, but I am grateful all the same. When there’s life, the music plays on…

I don’t know about you, but let me say that I am a wee bit disappointed that in spite of my fervent prayers for a Husband to call my own, (well I did pray at the night vigil that ushered in the New Year in my church), I am still pretty much single. The closest I came to meeting a husband material was a potentially eligible separatee who, though claims he loves me, still has to be granted permission from Rome to sever his earlier marriage before popping the question. That is in addition to the fact that he also admits to being scared of taking the plunge a second time!

There are other cogs. Although the guy is actually fun to be with, the snag is that I hardly get to see enough of him. As it happens, he lives out of town and that in itself is another obstacle to any marital plans. You see, I really am not ready to relocate to another state for the sake of settling down with a man.

Another thing I have to contend with is the fact that I can’t possibly imagine my children coming home from school abroad and joining me in some outback. And when you think seriously about it, what would I be doing out there anyway apart from being ‘Mrs X? ’ Ah ha!! Given the lifestyle I’m used to, that would be boring. To tell you the truth, that prospect doesn’t exactly thrill me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I really want nothing more than to settle down, but I would rather my man does the relocating to Lagos. After all, he is in his 50s. But I know guess that’s not about to happen.

The fact of the matter is that he has a very comfortable job in the academia and he simply enjoys his life in the rural setting. Although he hasn’t said so, I believe that deep down, he knows that I am too much of a city girl at heart. I guess that may also be the reason he has not popped that question so far. I sometimes wonder if I am not pushing my luck though.

It’s really a catch 22 situation at the end of the day. And as if things are not already complex enough, I’ve heard hints from reliable sources that my career may be shooting for greater heights soon, with prospects of me moving to the nation’s capital, Abuja. If that happens… Now you can see why I fear that this relationship may be going nowhere.

What do I want? Honestly I want both – the Husband and a great career. Is there any of you out there with a similar dilemma? Then maybe we can rub minds together. Your letter is urgently awaited here. You know what they say about two heads being better than one and all that.

Let me stop bothering you with my piteous tales for now and tell you what to expect from me this first quarter. Some quite juicy stories are already in the works. And as an addition, I plan to publish interesting contributions from Mature Single Men (MSM). You never know, I just might succeed in playing cupid in this column!!! I am also going to talk to some borderline MSWs and see from their own perspective what life is offering them. Oh, by the way, the borderline MSW is by definition a Mature Single Woman who is still marketable – so to speak. She’s the type who attends the weddings of her peer group and is always the chief bridesmaid but never the bride. (Ah, now you know!) She could also be a young single mother who’s still hoping to settle down some day. I think it would be interesting to hear from these categories of MSWs.

The next editions will carry tips on how to spot the potentially Mature Single Man, plus lots and lots of other tips on how to hook and keep him.

There will also be contributions from our sisters living in the Diaspora – both black and white. You will be surprised to know that the MSW syndrome has no border. The question of how to handle our sexual desires within the biblical context and many other stimulating issues that are relevant to today’s MSW will also be tabled here.

Don’t fret because you are not alone.